Ever wondered what I am like in hospital? This is exactly how I am.
I am the same, I am still me.
I was 1 month into my hospital stay at this point. I was starting to become delirious from the boredom of it all. My heart was also in pain because I thought a boy back home would forget about me in the mean time. (Priorities, am I right?) @onedirection was my favourite band and this was soothing my broken heart (dramatic, I know!). I was still happy because being completely honest, it doesn’t take much for me to be happy in life. If my 15 surgeries taught me anything it is perspective and yes I might have been in hospital but I knew worse pain.
That tube you see up my nose prevented me from sleeping. It stabs you in the back of the throat every time you swallow but compared to the recovery after my brain tumour, this was nothing. I’m a tough cookie after all.
For years after I used to look at this video often. I was proud of myself. Even on my darkest days, I could still make a joke and crack a smile.
Not all days were like this one, there were the days I would sob myself to death, whilst I refused to surface from under my duvet. There were days when I yanked the tube out, threw it across the room and had to be physically restrained to put it back in.
But this video it reminded me to be grateful. It reminded me that even in hospital, I had a strong spirit and a good sense of humour. Even whilst I was ill, there is still good in this world. I could be grateful for the one friend I had left in Hong Kong and even more than that, the ability to walk.
You look at this video and you see a physically limited person but what I see is freedom because I was finally strong enough to walk to a chair for the first time.
This video makes me smile because it captures who I am at my esscence and even hospital can’t stop me loving life 💪🏽 I have another video from hospital that I have wanted to post but I have been hesitant to post either for the last 3 years because I’m so wary of pity but if you would like to see it, comment below ❤️#scarrednotscared